I got pregnant at the young age of 17, and I knew nothing about pregnancy or how to be a mom. I lived far away from my parents because I was scared of my dad. I eloped with the father of my kids, and we settled in the city. I have two daughters, aged 16 and 9.
While they were growing up, our financial income couldn’t sustain our needs. Their dad didn’t have a regular job, and I was only working part-time. We rented a house and had to pay all the bills. Living in the city was quite expensive. That’s when I made the decision to apply for work abroad. It was a difficult choice, but I felt like I had no other option.
𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝. I was still breastfeeding my youngest daughter, and I felt like I was still in my postpartum stage. I cried every night and longed to go back home. 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞. It affected my closeness with my children, and they felt distant from me.
During the first few months overseas, I struggled with staying connected. I would call neighbors and ask them to go to my house so I could talk to my kids. Internet in my country was unreliable, making constant communication a big challenge. Recently, my older daughter got her first phone. It has been helpful for our connection. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐈 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. Additionally, maintaining a relationship with their father has been another struggle.
𝐌𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐈 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡. 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
The advice I have for other domestic workers who are also mothers is: 𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐧. 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐫. Remember we can replace a partner but never ever our child. Be open in communication. Plan with them.
𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐛𝐲 𝐔𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡! 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐡𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦, 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐰.
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